I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
