i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
