so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
