It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
