last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My dick has a subreddit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
