I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
