We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
