You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
