It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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