I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
