I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
