I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
