so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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