I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
