Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
