I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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