I must be too annoying 4 u.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I want her autograph on my taint
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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