Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
