when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
tequila makes me forget i have legs
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
