You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
