THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
