Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
vagina is talking i cant
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
