new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
