Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
