So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Someone came in the potted fern
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
