your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
