I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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