the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
