The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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