i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
