i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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