she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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