They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
