Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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