Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize