We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He uses pillows to masturbate.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
