That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
