YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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