he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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