So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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