i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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