Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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