whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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