So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Small penises have feelings too.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
