Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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