this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
