What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
