Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
