Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
