Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
