i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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