Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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