No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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