She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
