Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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