Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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