Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
